She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
