she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
