Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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