remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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