Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
