That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
