somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
