She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
