And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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