So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't put those talents on a resume
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
