Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
