"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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