The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Shame is for Republicans.
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