I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
