dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
