I'm drive I can fine osifer
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I smell like Dick and happiness
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
