yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
