i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we're making bets on your personal life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
