I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize