Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
