we made out on top of his cat.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
