Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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