found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
