she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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