i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
