I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
