Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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