Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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