No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
