So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
