i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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