Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
