I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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