in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
True but thats because hes a fetus.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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