he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
