dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
