May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
