thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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