Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize