My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
