I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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