We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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