I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
