Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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