If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
