You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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