well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize