Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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