i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize