she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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