she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
