Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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