maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
