I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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