if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
