did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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