Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
