was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
