sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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