Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
