My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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