Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
