We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
