Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize