he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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