he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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