Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
