Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
